Most people I know don’t suit my credence for chummy affairs. I got sparse relationships, which is why I don’t have trouble assessing why I got only a handful of people in my life, for better or worse. One thing that people don’t know about me: I’m incorrigibly impatient. I dropped too many people not just because they failed me but too many times, they embody the individual I don’t have the patience for. Also, when certain people are incredibly incompetent or have maligned my trust and confidence, I don’t feel the need to continue having relationships with them. Worse, I don’t send out warnings, whine or condemn the trigger; I just walk away. Walking away is the most natural for me in addressing frustration. And without batting an eyelash, I take Mary J. Blige’s words by heart: “No more drama.”
I cannot say I mistrust people entirely, nor do I feel adversarial at first meeting. As someone who aspires to be an enriched individual, I realize the importance of learning from people and their lives, experiences, and teachings. When I was still at the University, I followed professors (as those who taught courses outside my degree of specialization) for the scholastic journey. I sometimes go out with a fellow I know from way back and just sit in silence. I also still see, albeit more scarcely, a small group of classmates in elementary, high school, and college I mostly like, even if they turned out to be monsters. I am forever reminded that a man’s life is the greatest lesson to be continuously studied at.
But I never intend to spend time with people I don’t get along much. The appreciation for someone will only hold water if there’s genuine fondness. Without it, I don’t see the point in engaging on something that is clearly not beneficial to both parties. I also like to think that the more people I hate around me, the less I become myself. But I understand that being with the same is a study on tolerance: ‘How much time can I put up with this? Or is it too early to strangle him with this rope?’ I never really grasped why I am still not on therapy but I admire my self-control actually. (To be concluded)
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